In March 1971, he took his violin out of its case in Florida for a string of performances in various cities. There always seems to have been a Benny news conference upon arrival, though he would make himself available for individual interviews (sometimes while wearing his bathrobe in his hotel room). In peering at various publications around the time, Benny got lots and lots of free ink locally.
Before we get to a story about a joked-up newser, let’s give you a more serious story from the Associated Press before Jack left California for the other orange-growing state. This appeared in papers around March 8, 1971.
Benny Violin Raises $5 Million for Music
By BOB THOMAS
HOLLYWOOD (AP) — Jack Benny and his magic violin will appear in concert Tuesday night with the symphony orchestra of Jacksonville, Fla., boosting to more than $5 million the amount of money he has raised for serious music.
Not bad for the man who is America's most famous tightwad.
Benny starts on his sixth million Wednesday night, when he will display his virtuoso talents with the Florida Symphony of St. Petersburg, Fla.
Before leaving for the Florida concerts, Benny reflected on his career as a serious musician and fund-raiser for America's ailing symphonies.
"Funny thing about this date," he said. "My total for the symphony appearances was up to $4,870,000. Now in Jacksonville they expected to raise $60,000 and in St. Petersburg $70,000. I told the people in St. Petersburg I hoped they could get that much, because that would put me over the $5 million."Then the people in Jacksonville called me to say they wanted to put me over. They found a man who was willing to put up $100,000 for two tickets. Imagine! A hundred thousand for two lousy tickets!"
Benny began his career in the concert halls on Oct. 2, 1956, when he appeared with conductor Alfred Wallenstein in New York's Carnegie Hall at a benefit to save the hall from destruction.
"I did three concerts with Wallenstein—Carnegie Hall, Philadelphia and Los Angeles," said the comedian-violinist. "He was great. Since then I've played with them all.”
At first Benny appeared for various charity causes, but then former President Truman chartered his course:
"I was to play a benefit for Mr. Truman's library in Independence. Then he called me up and said, 'Jack our (Kansas City) symphony needs more help than the library does.' Ever since then I’ve played for the benefit of the orchestras."
Benny practiced eight months for his first concert, now steals the time from his other activities when he can. “I really enjoy practicing, but I don't have the time." During the concert he engages in much horseplay with the conductor and a few members of the orchestra, but his renditions of the numbers are for real.
"I like good music," Benny reflected. "I didn't realize how much I liked it until I started playing these concerts.. Before, my close friends were primarily actors and vaudevillians. Now some of my closest friends are musicians.
The Benny concerts have ranged as far as Israel and London, but most have been in the United States. He can manage only about five a year, "but I'd like to cut down on my other activities so I can do more." If you want to see Mr. Benny at something less than $50,000 a seat, he is appearing Wednesday night in an NBC Special, "Everything you wanted to know about Jack Benny—but were afraid to ask."
Now a feature story from the Tampa Tribune of March 7, 1971. The guy has a CAPS fetish when he JOKES about what Jack SAID, but if you can HANDLE that, you can get through the whole story.
Jack Benny Never Said Anything Funny . . . Much
By MIKE FOWLER
Tribune Staff Writer
Somebody—who wasn't being unkind—once said that Jack Benny has never said ANYTHING funny in his life. He's only SAID lots of things very funny indeed. So yesterday, at a press conference at the Tampa Sheraton Motor Inn, the famous Comedian of Style, who's in Florida to perform twice with his violin and funny pauses, grimaces, gestures and emphasized inflections to raise money for symphonic orchestras here and Jacksonville, said nothing at all really funny.
Yet an assemblage of TV camera men, news reporters, orchestra representatives and PR men laughed from the first "Well . . ." to the last "you know."
"WELL . . ." he said, "I don't say I'm a good violinist ... you know Isaac Stern . . . you know Isaac Stern is a GREAT violinist, he's also a VERY good friend, and when anybody asks Isaac Stern, 'How well does Jack Benny . . . play the violin, he's got the most beautiful answer you've ever HEARD, he says, 'well ENOUGH for his PURPOSES."
Lots of laughter.
"And that's the GREATEST answer because that fits EXACTLY. Because the audiences, they APPLAUD, and they LAUGH and they CARRY ON, so that's MY purpose. And ah . . . I play WELL ENOUGH for THAT."
HE HAS played well enough, in—he guesses—over a hundred benefit concerts, four or five a year for 15 years, to have raised $4,870,000 for symphony orchestras around the country, and he will pass the $5 million mark Tuesday in Jacksonville, coming back to St. Petersburg's Bayfront Center Wednesday night to raise more and embellish the accolade bestowed on him when he was introduced to the press yesterday as "The man who's done more for symphony orchestras in America than any other single individual." He has done it, he says, more by attracting people who DON'T KNOW they love GOOD MUSIC than by raising money.
"AH . . . THERE ARE . . . a percentage, a certain per cent of people who like it, and some . . . that DON'T. But let me tell you something . . . Those . . . there are a lot of them ... who IMAGINE they don't like it . . . now, for instance . . . before I gave concerts, I DIDN'T KNOW I was going to like it, good music ... I WOULDN'T MISS A CONCERT NOW, if I can go, FOR ANYTHING ... I found out I LIKE IT, see. . . NOW, ... MY ROLE is helping the musicians, the orchestras ... by bringing in certain people who WOULDN'T GO ... I'VE KNOWN cases where the people DID come in . . . AND SUDDENLY REALIZED that they LIKE good music, and never knew that they DID."
Much laughter.
So he attracts people who like good music but don't know it, and he does it by making people laugh, but remember he doesn't say anything funny, it's the way he says it, and what he does. FOR instance, he plays the violin seriously, he plays the violin and he makes a real effort to play well. Somebody, for example, asked what piece he finds most difficult to play, and he said,
"ALL OF THEM." (Rousing laughter.) "I haven't FOUND a number that isn't difficulty 1 pick CONCERTOES [sic], and I try to ... ah ... find the EASIEST PARTS and put them together." (Laughter) "ah, in MENDLESOHNN [sic] I play the whole first movement, in BEETHOVEN, which is VERY difficult, I try to find 15 or 20 minutes that I can PUT TOGETHER, see . . . and it turns out FINE . . . but it's DIFFICULT.
"But even to play BADLY, you have to practice, if you don't practice, you can't even play BADLY, and I LIKE practicing . . . it's a hobby of mine, but I don't get enough. You should practice at LEAST two hours a day, and I average about ... 45 minutes."
Laughter.
"BUT SEE, the audiences, and the MUSIC CRITICS, they go along with the gag . . . the fact that I think I'm one of the world's GREAT violinists . . . and that's the way the SHOW goes on, as if I am one of the world's great violinists 4. . . and it doesn't come OFF. And it's funny that way." But he has a problem Wednesday, when he plays with the Florida Gulf Coast Symphony Orchestra in St. Petersburg, because that's the day his latest special goes on TV.
"If there's ANYTHING I hate to do, it's take a COUPLE OF THOUSAND PEOPLE away from my TV show." (Laughter.) "Because the same people that come to the CONCERT would certainly be WILLING to listen to my TV show, wouldn't they?" (Laughter.) "That's kind of SAD." (Great laughter.) "I always feel bad about that.”
THE TV show which Benny said "is EQUALLY as good as my last special . . . PERHAPS FUNNIER because it's crazier" (Laughter), will have John Wayne, and Dione [sic] Warwick, and Frank Sinatra . . . and it will be known as "What you've ALWAYS Wanted to Know About JACK BENNY . . . but Were AFRAID to Ask." (Much laughter).
So, HERE'S a question which didn't come out in the PRESS CONFERENCE but which HAS to be asked:
HOW ... you know ... do you STOP writing like Jack Benny, who NEVER says ANYTHING funny but gets SUCH TREMENDOUS laughs, since you end up . . . HOPING . . . you know . . . that what you'll write . . .
Well . . .
These stories don’t mention it, but ex-Tonight Show bandleader Skitch Henderson was the guest conductor. We’ll skip the reports on the concerts. We’ve got another tale to tell out of Florida next Sunday.
I love Jack dearly and I still would if his instrument of choice had been a penny whistle. :)
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