Who Bites Nails and Plays With a Garter?

Sidney Skolsky profiled Jack Benny several times in his syndicated “Tintypes” column. We’ve posted one of his feature columns before, so let’s post the other two. You can see how he dipped into his archive and re-used or re-worked lines.

The first is from September 9, 1931, before Benny looked at going into radio. The next one is from December 3, 1937. He was a radio star now and making his name in some, frankly, lightweight pictures. Basically, Skolsky compiles bits of trivia and biography and weaves them into a column. (Some other trivia for you: Frank Nelson, playing Virgil Reimer, who in real life joined the NBC sound effects department in March 1936, called Benny “an old tintype” on an early ‘40s broadcast).

TINTYPES
By SIDNEY SKOLSKY
JACK BENNY. His real name was Benny Kubelsky.
When he entered show business he made his first name his last and forgot all about the Kubelsky.
He had the name changed legally to Benny.
He was a St. Valentine's Day present to the family in the year 1894. Was born in Chicago, Ill., although his home town is Waukegan, thirty-six miles away. His mother went to Chicago for the event so Benny could tell folks he was born in a big city.
Is 5 feet 9 inches tall and weights 150 pounds. His hair has been graying for thr past ten years. His right eve is bluer than his left.
His father ran a saloon in Waukegan and he worked there for a short time. But the theatre interested him more than the saloon, and still does. Presently he had a job in the only theatre in the town. Started as a doorman. Then became a property man. Then became a tiddler in the orchestra, conducted by Cora Salisbury. When the theatre closed he and Cora went into vaudeville. Theirs was a violin and piano act.
He bites his nails, never gets a manicure and changes shoes three times a day.
Eats everything that isn't good for him and bolts his food.
Played in vaudeville with Miss Salisbury for about four years. The act never got to New York. During that time he didn't utter one word on the stage. If there was a curtain speech to be made to the audience—which wasn't often—Miss Salisbury was the speechmaker.
Then came the war. And it was an all right affair for Benny.
He joined the Navy and was put into the Navy Relief Society. It was this organization's duty to entertain and make money for the sailors. He played in "The Great Lakes Revue." In this show he spoke for the first time on a stage. He was ordered to do so, and he had to obey orders.
This gave him courage. After the war he did a single in vaudeville, telling a few gags between violin solos. Today he uses the violin for comedy bits only. He made his reputation as a smart monologist.
On Jan. 14, 1927, he married Sadye Marks in Chicago. She is not of show business. Often, however, when playing vaudeville she appears in the act with him. He doesn't do anything, on stage or off, without her advice.
His pet name for her is Doll. Her pet name for him is Doll.
Generally sits with his legs crossed and toys with one of his leg garters.
On stage he appears to be the calmest of the current crop of smart fooling monologists. His style is succinct, dry and ironic. He seems to be very much at home before the footlights. He's just a good actor. As a matter of fact he paces his dressing room before going on and is nervous when delivering his chatter. He doesn't smoke. Whenever he puts a cigarette to his lips, in an effort to learn how, the wife laughs at him.
Generally wears a blue or gray double-breasted suit. Has bad taste when it comes to socks and ties. His wife has to buy them for him. He has more dress suits than street clothes.
Does things on the spur of the moment. He has packed and left for Hollywood or Europe on only twenty-four hours' notice.

The word he uses most is "Marvelous." Every act he introduces on the stage is marvelous. Everything he likes and describes to a person is marvelous. Once, when playing in San Francisco, Aimee McPherson sent him the following backstage: "Enjoyed your performance very much. Like everything about you but the word marvelous. Am sending you a list of words that you can use in place of marvelous. Outside of that, Mr. Benny, you were marvelous."
His two favorite humorists, the guys who hand him a laugh in type, are Stephen Leacock and Robert Benchley.
Generally writes most of his own material. Can write gags for himself but not for others. Often he buys material.
Sleeps in pajamas, using both the trousers and the jacket. Is a sound sleeper. No matter what time he goes to bed he awakes early in the morning. Takes a cold bath every morning. His wife always travels with him.
He resembles Phil Baker so strongly that the two of them often pass for brothers. He also looks very much like Jack Warner and in Hollywood is often mistaken for him. Strangely enough, Baker doesn't resemble Warner.
He is really a funny guy for he's very fond of his in-laws.

Doorman to Comic, Rise of Jack Benny
He's Never Been on a Horse But He 'Rides Again' on Nearly Every Radio Program
By SIDNEY SKOLSKY
Hollywood.
TINTYPE of a comic—Jack Benny when he first entered show business, made his first name his last name. His real name was Benny Kubelsky. . . He has had his name legally changed to Benny. . . On the radio he has fun saying he hails from Waukegan. . . Fact is, he was horn in Chicago on St. Valentine's day, 1894. . . His parents went there so he could tell people he was born in a big city. . . He is 5 feet 9 inches tall and weighs 150 pounds. . . His hair is graying and thinning. . . His right eye is bluer than his left. . . When broadcasting he wears eye glasses. . . His program sounds as if everyone on it was having a good time, because they are. . . He starts work on his Sunday program on Tuesday. He sits around with his writers and they start talking about a magazine article or a movie, and then someone will say: "I got a line," and the secretary puts it down . . . During [a]performance, Benny will occasionally throw a kiss to the audience after generous applause . . . Don Wilson serves as applause leader . . . Benny had a struggle in show-business before he became a big success on the radio . . . His initial job in the theater was a doorman . . . Next he became a property man, then a violin player in the theater's orchestra, conducted by Cora Salisbury . . . When the theater closed, he and Cora went into vaudeville with a violin and piano act ... In those days he did not play the fiddle for laughs. Benny had to join the navy to speak on a stage. During the World war the Navy Relief society put on a show called, "The Great Lake Revue." Here Benny spoke for the first time on a stage. He was ordered to and he had to obey orders. Jack was never ranked with the big headliners of vaudeville, never starred in a Broadway show . . . He is married to Sadye Marks . . . She was not connected with show business but is an important member of his radio show . . . You know her as Mary Livingstone . . . His pet name for her is Doll . . . Her pet name for him is Doll Face . . . He bites his nails, seldom gets a manicure, and often changes his shoes three times a day. He is hardly ever seen without a cigar, either smoking or holding it . . . Everything he likes and describes to a person is marvelous ... He has never been on a ranch . . . He has never been on a horse--except when he got a good tip . . . Yet he's the most famous cowboy in the country today . . . Giddyap—Buck Benny rides again.