Wednesday 14 March 2018

His Heart Picked Peas

Tennessee Ernie Ford may have been the only person whose TV show lost a potential sponsor because of his name.

He was hosting a revival of Kay Kyser’s old radio show College of Musical Knowledge on NBC in October 1954 when he decided he wanted to be billed as “Tennessee Ernie Ford.” That was quite unsatisfactory to a company looking at paying the bills for the show, and it walked away. The company was General Motors.

Ernie had been billed as plain old “Tennessee Ernie,” which he had adopted when he headed to the West Coast after the war and worked as a radio announcer, first in San Bernadino and then at a small station in Pasadena catering to fans of western and country music. The big star at the station was Cliffie Stone, who became Ernie’s manager. Pretty soon, Ernie was playing gigs, signed a record deal by Capitol and then got an insanely huge break in 1954 by appearing on two episodes of I Love Lucy.

And all this happened before the biggest thing in career—a monster record in 1955 called “Sixteen Tons.” That led to his own NBC variety show. He didn’t have to worry about General Motors. The show was sponsored by the Ford Motor Company (the programme was actually named for the carmaker).

One of the main reasons behind Ernie’s success over the years was he came across as a down-home folksy guy, not a Hollywood phoney. He was helped by his countrified similes. He came across as rural as a passel of hoot owls nesting in a barn loft in the Ozarks. Columnists loved his turns of phrase and included them in stories.

Here’s one from the June 12, 1954 of the Chicago Tribune, from the city as windy as a politician stumping 24 hours before voting day.
COUSIN ERNIE HOT AS FOX IN PEPPER PATCH
BY ANTON REMENIH

COUSIN ERNIE: Ernie (Tennessee Ernie) Ford is now in the process of transformation from a caterpillar into a butterfly, if metaphor may be a bit strained.
Ernie is the hillbilly character who appeared on two successive I Love Lucy shows as “Cousin Ernie” a few weeks ago and emerged as a new comedy find.
Up to that assignment he had (1) never acted on stage, and (2) never been cast formally as a comedian. Tennessee Ernie is an incredibly successful hillbilly singer who has told more than 4.5 million records in four years. His “Shotgun Boogie” has sold more than a million disks.
That he should score a hit in a new field in his first try is as unusual as if Toscanini clicked as a cigaret huckster.
“I’m as happy as a peach orchard hog,” says Ernie, who comes from the Tennessee hill country. “That Lucy thing created quite a stink (fuss), and the smell ain’t gone yet.”
● ● ●
FOX IN PEPPER PATCH: Four years ago Ernie earned $87.50 for a 40 hour week as announcer with KXLA, Pasadena, Cal. Today he grosses close to $100,000 annually, and the biggest loot is ahead because, to crib a phrase of his, Tennessee Ernie currently is as “hot as a fox in a pepper patch.”
Drawl talkin’ Ernie came to town this week to entertain for his radio (WBBM, 6 p.m., week days) sponsor. He starts his first network TV show July 4 at 6 p.m. over NBC-TV-WNBQ. The program is the old Kay Kyser College of Musical Knowledge.
Ernie, whose ultimate ambitions is to quit work to “fish ‘n’ hunt,” likes to hark back to his boyhood days at Bristol, Tenn. The state line between Tennessee and Virginia runs down the middle of the main street.
Bristol has two city councils, two mayors, and two police forces, and both states are “dry as chips.” Yet occasionally a drunkard who had been sampling his own “grape squeezins” in the hills wandered into town. If the cops on one side of town chased him he escaped by staggering across the main street.
● ● ●
WALK THE LINE: “But once cops from both forces chased one at the same time,” says Ernie. “He tried to get out of town by walking the white (state) line down main street. This was a mistake. He wavered heroically for a few yards, then gave up without a fight. He’d flunked the line test in front of both police forces. As they dragged him off to jail, he moaned, ‘I got no more chance than a tied mink in a smokehouse.’”
In some circles, Ernie was as admired for his descriptive use of the vernacular as a blue ribbon steer on the closing day of the County Fair. A fine example was given by the Herald Tribune syndication service in a story of June 12, 1957.
Ernie Ford's Phrasing Called Equal to Bard's
By MARIE TORRE

FROM the bright lexicon of TV's hayseed performers streams a pithy new language that we've all too quickly dismissed as corn pone and molasses badinage. The most prolific of these philologists is Tennessee Ernie Ford ("They've got me squirmin' like a worm in hot ashes"), and from now on Mr. Ford's verbal output draws this pillar's utmost respect because it's just won the wholehearted approval of that Shakespearean scholar, Dr. Frank C. Baxter.
Lo and behold, Dr. Baxter says Mr. Ford's colorful use of language is almost Shakespearean, a conclusion he arrived at after sitting in on rehearsals for an appearance on the "Ford" show tomorrow night.
"Ernie and Shakespeare," said Dr. Baxter, and his tongue wasn't in his cheek, "share a common ability to say things in fresh, new ways."
Showing the extent of his interest in the Ford gems, Dr. Baxter took the trouble to make notes during rehearsals and he offers some notable comparisons between Shakespeare's sterling lines and Ernie's hominy grits utterances.
"On the subject of a man's charm, for instance," Dr. Baxter continued, "Shakespeare used the phrase, 'A lion among ladies.' Ernie would say, 'He's like a rooster in the hen house.' To indicate indecision, Shakespeare wrote 'I am a feather for each wind that blows.' Whereas Ernie would say, 'I'm like a puppy in a room full of rubber balls'."
Among Dr. Baxter's jottings on "Ernieisms" are:
"Flat as a gander's arch."
"Hotter'n a bucket of red ants."
"Tear off a quill and write me a letter."
"I'm hogtied to you."
"These," says Dr. Baxter, "are truly brilliant in the imagery they evoke. If Shakespeare were alive today, he'd be proud to have written such a line as, 'He's as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs'."
????????? That's what the doctor said!
I suspect NBC or Ford’s ad agency sent the list of Ernie’s sayin’s endorsed by the astute Dr. Baxter to media outlets hither and yon. The Albany Knickbocker News of June 8th has many of the same sentences and Bumpkinville observations in an unbylined story but gives a comparison:

POSITION: SHAKESPEARE – As upright as the cedar (The Winter’s Tale). ERNIE – Flat as a gander’s arch.
HEAT: SHAKESPEARE – As cold as any stone (King Henry V). ERNIE – Hotter’n a bucket of red ants.
SIMILARITY: SHAKESPEARE – As like as eggs (The Winter’s Tale. ERNIE – As like as hams on a Hampshire hog.
CHARM: SHAKESPEARE – A lion among ladies (A Midsummer Night’s Dream). ERNIE – He’s like a new rooster in the hen house.
INDECISION: SHAKESPEARE – I am a feather for each wind that blows (The Winter’s Tale). ERNIE – I’m like a puppy in a room full of rubber balls.

“This,” according to Baxter, “is truly brilliant in the imagery it evokes.”

In 1961, as Variety put it, “There's no longer an Ernie in Ford’s future.” The Ford show finished the season ranked 24th but Ernie wanted to spend more time on his ranch and cut his weekly TV load in half. The car company decided to sponsor Hazel instead the following season. Ernie worked out a deal closer to his home in the San Francisco Bay area, spending three days a week taping daytime shows that ran daily on ABC for several seasons and jetting down the coast for occasional guest shots. His recording career, especially in the gospel realm, continued as his fan base aged.

Alcohol caught up to Tennessee Ernie. It killed him on October 17, 1991. He mused on his popularity to the Associated Press in a 1990 interview, saying: “I met families at state fairs and they seemed comfortable around me and gave me a warm feeling. They’d say, ‘I feel like I know you.’ It was the greatest compliment you could get.”

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