Re-Using Harman-Ising

Reusing animation was not beneath Hugh Harman and Rudy Ising at Warner Bros. No, we don’t mean the same stomp-slide step Bosko and other characters did. Or the same three-quarters view, open-mouth-with-tongue expression found in all kinds of circle-headed characters. We mean whole scenes.

Here’s a good example from We're in the Money, released Aug. 26, 1933. It’s a pretty lacklustre cartoon. The same old toys-come-to-life-and-play-a-Warners-owned-song schtick. One scene has a toy with wheels for feet. He rolls along in a right-to-left pan, stops and twirls. It’s a cycle of eight drawings.

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Why, here it is again from A Great Big Bunch of You, released November 12, 1932.



The end title animation is reused, as the toy shouts “So long, folks!” From the Money ending.



And the Bunch ending.



Like a number of Harman and Ising, there are cycles in Money of cheering, applauding characters. Some cycles were used more than once.

The animation credits on A Great Big Bunch of You went to Ham Hamilton and Tom McKimson. On We're in the Money, the credits go to Friz Freleng and Larry Martin.

Money was the last Merrie Melodies cartoon from the Harman-Ising team. On May 4, 1933, The Film Daily reported Leon Schlesinger had ended his contract with them.

The title song was heard 55 times in a Warners cartoon, more than any other tune owned by the studio (The William Tell Overture was used 88 times and Yankee Doodle in 58 cartoons).

Tralfaz Sunday Theatre: America The Automobile Age

“The streetcar has all but disappeared. The bus is proving an inept substitute. Commuter rail service deteriorates. Subways get dirtier.”

Are you surprised those words are heard in a film funded by American Motors?

They are spoken by Today newsman Frank Blair, who put his NBC journalism credentials aside to accept a payout from one of the big three automakers to tell his audience “The American Motors wardrobe of cars—a style and type to fit every modern American need—is showing the way.” Not like those cars "gas guzzling dinosaurs" clogging the roads in 1959, when America The Automobile Age was made.

Blair “interviews” the same family from 1902 to the present. Writer Robert C. Bennett tries to add some comic relief children.

No less a studio than MGM was contracted to make the film.

Despite the annoying time code and low resolution, if you’re a fan of aged cars, you may like this. Or that stock footage of trains crashing head-on.

There are some cartoon connections. The music is by Hoyt Curtin; the cue at 19:01, and several with bassoon solos, would not be out of place on The Flintstones. The director is Dave Monahan, a story man for Chuck Jones and Tex Avery at Warners, then at Columbia/Screen Gems after the war before going into live action commercials.

When Jack Benny Didn't Need His Writers

Command Performance may be the best-known of several variety-request programmes put together stateside for airing on Armed Forces Radio during World War Two.

Movie and radio stars contributed to the war effort, with stage shows at military camps overseas and at home, taking part in Victory Bond and War Stamp drives, dropping in to the Hollywood Canteen, and appearing on Command Performance, Mail Call, Jubilee and other shows aimed specifically at servicemen and women far from home.

Among the stars was Jack Benny. He was a huge success on one Command Performance, as reported by the Newspaper Enterprise Association’s Hollywood columnist. This appeared in the Los Angeles Daily News on Oct. 17, 1944.

Benny ad lib tops Hope, Allen
Raise the hand of Jack Benny as the winner in the ad lib battle of the century. He left Fred Allen, Bob Hope and Jimmy Durante speechless. And that, brother, deserves a special Academy Oscar.
It happened at "Christmas Command Performance USA," Hollywood's Christmas present to Uncle Sam's armed forces overseas. It was the greatest radio show in history and we'll tell you all about it later. But right now you're going to hear how Benny mopped up the stage with Allen, Hope and Durante.
The four comics, plus Jerry Colonna and half a dozen other stars, were called back to the footlights immediately after the show for a group picture with the audience.
The Army photographer was slow adjusting his camera. Somebody had to say something. Hope finally started it with a crack about his profile which caught Benny and Allen flat-footed. There was a moment's pause and then Durante yelled out:
"Hey, you ushers. Stand erect and give this joint a little class."
The audience howled.
Benny still couldn't think of anything to say. Neither could Allen, so he started mugging. Jerry Colonna got a laugh by announcing, “I’m not going to say anything. I’m going to stay out of this. Benny, still at a loss for a smart crack, stuck his hat on his head crosswise and announced, “Well, at least I’ll LOOK funny.” The audience chuckled.
The army photographer was still adjusting his camera and the audience waiting expectantly to see who would score next.
Hope came through with a weak gag about Crosby. There was another few seconds of embarrassing silence. Benny and Allen squirmed. And then Benny let go. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the parking lot ticket for his automobile.
"I don't mind doing this show for free," he announced, "but who the h— is going to pay for this parking ticket?"
The audience roared, then applauded. Allen, Hope and Durante were speechless. They knew they were licked. The ad lib battle of the century was over. Benny grinned happily, the photographer took the picture and everybody went home.
As we started to say, "Christmas Command Performance USA" was the greatest radio show in history. Too bad, neighbor, but you'll never hear it. It was a 2-hour show recorded by the Armed Forces Radio Service for the boys and girls overseas. The record will be played in lonely command posts, mess halls and briefing rooms from the Palau Islands to the western front on Christmas Day.
Bob Hope did the master of ceremony chore. Starred on the show in addition to all the comics we've mentioned were W. C. Fields, Judy Garland, Danny Kaye, Kay Kyser and his orchestra, Dorothy Lamour, Frances Langford, Virginia O'Brien, Dinah Shore, Ginny Simms, Spencer Tracy, Spike Jones, Xavier Cugat, the Ken Darby chorus, Lee J. Cobb and Skippy Honeier [sic], with Ken Carpenter as announcer, Maj. Meredith Wilson conducting the GI orchestra and Sergeant Bob Welch holding the production reins.
Dinah sang "I'll Be Seeing You" and proved why she's a great GI and civilian favorite these days. Ginny sang “Amour.” Spike Jones’ orchestra murdered “Holiday for Strings” with those washboards and auto horns. Durante sang "I'm the Guy Who Holds the Mortgage on the Ranch That Has the Sheep That Supply the Wool for Lana Turner's Sweaters."
Allen and Benny bought each other 57 cent polkadot Christmas ties and in a department store routine, then sang “Jingle Bells,” accompanying themselves on the violin and banjo.
It was a billion dollars worth of talent. No sponsor could have afforded to have paid the bill. Everyone donated their time and talent for Uncle Sam's boys and girls. And it's a show they'll never forget.
Except for losing his ad lib battle with Benny, Hope was in rare form. Carpenter introduced him as "the guy who laid more eggs in the South Pacific than a B-25." His best gag was about a group of GIs in the South Pacific who didn't have a Christmas tree. So they decimated a hula girl. "They've got the only Christmas tree in the world," Hope cracked, "that can wiggle it’s a tinsel."

Yes, the broadcast exists and you can listen to it below.



The first Command Performance (according to the OTRR.org site) was broadcast on March 1, 1942. Jack’s first appearance was on the 12th show, which aired May 7, 1942. The announcer was Paul Douglas, one of Jack’s announcers in the Canada Dry days in 1932. Considering Pearl Harbor was the previous December, the military organised this series pretty quickly.

Below is the schedule for AEF shortwave stations from the first edition of the Army newspaper Yank, published June 17, 1942. This is before the AFRS radio stations were set up at bases overseas. It gives you the idea of the kind of radio shows the troops were hearing.

The Frees File

“Allow me to introduce myself. I am Colonel Tomsk Parkoff.”

Well, actually, Colonel Tomsk Parkoff was Boris Badenov in disguise. And this isn’t actually the Colonel. It is a publicity shot of the man who voiced the Colonel. And Boris. And plenty of great enjoyable cartoon characters. It’s Paul Frees.

He was one of the great voice actors, incredibly in demand for not only for cartoons, but for radio shows, novelty records, and commercial voiceovers. If you could meet his price. And pay him to come to Los Angeles, after he had moved to the Bay area.

If anyone should have had a biography written about him, it was Paul Frees. One was. It was penned by Ben Ohmart with the foreword by June Foray and afterword by Keith Scott.

I’ve always been a Frees fan (Beary Family notwithstanding) and after stumbling across photos of him, I thought I’d check the Frees clipping file to see what he was up to. At random, I picked 1953.

His radio career was in full swing then, and he could be heard as Barney Bear and elsewhere in MGM cartoons (Keith Scott says Frees’ first cartoon appearance was in Jerry’s Cousin, released in 1951). He was also in the cast of the 20th Century Fox feature The Star, released in 1952 but still in theatres. His own late-night radio show only lasted a few months. Frees must have been the only disc jockey who got cancelled and replaced by The Lord’s Prayer (which he could have done in his Dorson Belles voice).

(Note: This is not a filmography. This is not an invitation for an endless list of things Frees voiced in his career or his numerous radio shows of 1953).

January 1
KGEM Radio 1140
10:00 to 10:15 p.m.—The Player with Paul Frees.

January 11
Phil Harris-Alice Faye Show
With Walter Tetley as Julius. Also appearing tonight are Hans Conried, Paul Frees (as the plumber).

January 23
Coincident with the time switch on Carson’s Cellar, Johnny Carson adds three new members to his regular cast beginning tonight—Singer Jeri Sullivan, Actress June Foray, and Recording Star Paul Frees. (Los Angeles Examiner)

February 8
Monday through Thursday (9:15 p. m.) brings a different type of radio show, The Player. It stars Paul Frees, the Raymond who opens the squeaking door to Inner Sanctum. He plays all the parts. (Lubbock Avalanche-Journal)

February 28
FEATURE REVIEWS
The War of the Worlds
Cast includes Paul Frees as a radio reporter. (Boxoffice)

March 11
Actor Paul Frees of Radio Hall of Fame program, and his actress wife Joyce Terry have just celebrated their second wedding anniversary . . . They’re looking forward to a new member of the household in June. (Worcester Daily Telegram)

April 6
Johnny Carson, bright young comedy find of KNXT (2) who has been off the telewaves for two months since his “Carson’s Cellar” left the schedule, returns tonight at 10 on KNXT (2). The Johnny Carson show will be built around satire-comedy skits. Paul Frees and Joan Vohs will help Johnny. (Pasadena Star News)

April 10
In the Café Tambourine, which is constantly crowded with tourists, camel drivers, women, cheats and forgotten men down on their luck, owner “Rocky Jordan” finds himself “Behind the Black Ball” on tonight’s program on KIRO (CBS) at 6. Jack Moyles portrays “Rocky,” while others in the cast include Jay Novello, Byron Kane, Olive Deering and Paul Frees. (Victoria Times)

“THE BIG SKY” playing Thursday and Friday, April 9 and 10 at the Midway Drive In.
Kirk Douglas and Dewey Martin join a keelboat expedition up the Missouri from St. Louis in 1830, bound for the Blackfoot Indian country to establish a trading post in the fir-rich territory. Aboard the vessel as a hostage to ensure their safety is a Blackfoot maiden, Elizabeth Threatt. The expedition survives hazards including a stretch of rapids, Indian attacks and sallies by agents of a rival fur-trader, Paul Frees, who abducts Elizabeth. The Indian girl is rescued and the keelboat successfully gets by Frees’ river stoackade. Next Douglas and Martin frustrate a double-cross by which the expedition was to have been sold out to Frees. (New Port Richey Press)

April 23
PLEASURE; words & music Paul Frees © Goday Music Corp. (Copyright Catalogue)

June 19
Lon McCallister is guest star-host in “Operation Riviera,” a comedy about what happens to a GI who promotes himself a 10-day furlough on the Isle of Capri, on “[Schlitz] Playhouse of Stars” tonight at 9 o’clock over Channel 2. Others in the cast are Randy Stewart, Lela Bliss, Paul Frees, James Dodd, Rolfe Sedan, Alphonse Martell and Gil Frye. (Connecticut Post)

June 30
Tyler McVey reports that the American Federation of Television and Radio Artists Frolic for its members brought in about $5,000 for the sick and benefit fund. [Paul Frees was one of the people performing on June 19]. (Zuma Palmer, Hollywood Citizen-News)

July 5
A new type of anti-crime program will take the time period of “Dragnet” beginning tonight at 8:30 on KTBS and the NBC network. This new series, entitled “Confessions” will star Paul Frees as Richard A. McGee, director, department of correction, state of California.
The programs will be based on actual confessions of crimes and their causes as revealed by the files of various correction departments throughout the nation. (Shreveport Times)

July 6
Television programs
Paul Frees, 2:15 [guesting with Dave Street on KLAC-TV 13]

July 24
Paul Frees, radio actor, became a father for the first time Tuesday [21] when his wife actress, Joyce Terry, presented him with a 7-pound boy. They have selected the name Frederic William for their heir. (Barbara Sellers, Hollywood Citizen-News)

August 19
THE DEAL NOW has been set for Larry Finley to move into a special restaurant adjoining the Mocambo when he exists “My Own Place” on Sept. 3. He also will take his KWFB radio lines along and continue to broadcast from 10 p. m. to 4 a. m.
Larry Kolpack, who will continue with “MOR,” now is playing to present Paul Frees as the Finley substitute at the late night spot with the broadcast going out over KECA. (Paul Price Los Angeles Daily News)

August 23
The Unexpected, KECA-TV (7) at 7, offers Robert Hutton, Gale Storm and Paul Frees in “The Peppeteers,” all about the mysterious disappearance of a famous puppeteer on the eve of a performance. (Jack Lait, Jr., Los Angeles Examiner)

September 3
New nightly disc jockey show begins at M. O. P. [My Own Place] tonight, on KECA from 11 to 2. Versatile-voiced Paul Frees has charge of the platter-chatter. (Jack Lait, Jr., Los Angeles Examiner)

September 8
Glenda Farrell, James Dunn, Alan Mowbray, John Hubbard, Billy Bakewell and Paul Frees have been inked for supporting roles in the Mickey Rooney tele pilot, which rolls Thursday [10] at the Goldwyn studios, under the aegis of Volcano Productions.
Richard Quine will direct. (Daily Variety)

September 13
Jack Benny, the only 39-year-old man born in 1894, returns to TV tonight at a new hour of 10 p. m. and with Marilyn Monroe making her “live” video debut. Scene is set aboard a ship as Jack returns from Hawaii. Jack dreams of Marilyn, buy the dream comes out 200-pound Maxine Gates.
Rochester, Don Wilson, “Mr. Kitzel,” Paul Frees and Joe Kearns complete the cast for the KNXT (2) fall debut of the great comedian. This season he will be on each third week, alternating with Ann Sothern as “Private Secretary.” (Terry Vernon, Long Beach Independent-Press-Telegram)

September 22
Irma’s playing the field from now on. A whole new stable of boy friends are in Marie Wilson’s future on this season’s “My Friend Irma” [TV] show with the departure of Sid Tomack as Al from the series. More variety in the romantic department is another big change for “Irma” along with a new roommate, Mary Shipp as Kay Foster, and a new character—Paul Frees, playing a schoolteacher who lives next door. (Erskine Johnson, NEA)

October 3
Parrot, Squeaking Door, All the Same to Emcee; Gen. Dean Story on Air
BY WALTER AMES
If you happen to be tuned into KECA radio some evening after 11 p m. and suddenly hear a familiar parrot talking to you, don't run for the nearest psychiatrist. It's only Paul Frees.
Paul, along with the rest of his acting chores, recently decided to try his hand at being a disc jockey. It was one of the few things he hadn't already experimented with and the other day he said he's never had as much fun.
Being a master at dialects, voices and sound effects, Frees finds his radio show an excellent showcase for rehearsing roles. Thus if he has a squeaking door coming up you'll hear him opening doors for most of his guests during the evening.
I mentioned that you might hear a parrot. One of Paul's chores in the past has been to be the parrot on the old Sam Spade series. His toughest assignment was to play a squeaking French door. Ask him to do it some night.
Recently he was confined to Folsom Prison — strictly for business, however, as a featured player in the new flicker, "Riot in Cellblock Eleven." It was a drastic change from his imitating roles because, as he says, everything about Folsom "is for keeps.” (Los Angeles Times)

October 7
Paul Frees has added a “Surprise Celebrity” contest to his KECA Monday through Saturday show which is broadcast from 11 p.m. to 2 a.m. on KECA. Listeners who have written in are asked to identify the recorded voice of a well known personality. Frees calls three people each night. The first jackpot now being offered includes a silver tea set, a man or women’s suit, a radio, a watch, a set of men’s toiletries, and a table lamp. (Barbara Sellers, Hollywood Citizen-News)

October 12
EDGAR BERGEN
(Sun., 6:30-7 p.m. [11], KNX-CBS)
Chunking in their share of the laugh load were Veola Vonn, Gloria Gordon and Paul Frees. Bill Baldwin is back in his usual good selling job, this time for Lanolin Plus, skin sharpener which comes from sheep. (Helm, Daily Variety)

November 2
Walter Baker, leader of the newly organized “Baker’s Dozen” orchestra, starts his Monday commentaries on the Paul Frees radio show tonight. (Hollywood Reporter)

November 11
“The Martians and the Coys,” KHJ at 8:30, has in its cast three members of a family, Jack, Lil and Lee Kirkwood. They are, respectively, Hobe, Maw and Rhododendron Coy, hillbillies, who entertain Dr. Zim (Jay Novello) and Melco (Paul Frees), who arrive in a “crazy silo with windows.” (Zuma Palmer, Hollywood Citizen-News)

December 12
Paul Frees will he M.C. at the Altadena Tournament of Roses fund raising variety show, Tuesday at 7:15 p.m. it was announced by William Adrian, producer of the talent and fashion show.
Frees is seen weekly on "My Friend Irma", nationally televised series. He is known to millions as the weekly character in "Wild Bill Hickok" radio series, as well as a featured star in "Suspense" each week. Paul has been a variety of different voices in the "Tom and Jerry" cartoons and nightly airs his own radio show at 11 till 2 over KECA. (Pasadena Star-News)

December 15
Paul Frees will change the format of his Monday through Saturday KECA radio show to include interviews with leaders from business, industry, charitable organizations and law enforcement agencies. (Barbara Sellers, Hollywood Citizen-News)

December 17
Paul Frees does his last show on KECA Dec. 23. The station starting Dec. 26 will run an hour of classical music titled “Musical Masters, Past and Present,” in the 11 p.m. to midnight spot and conclude its Monday through Saturday programming with a five minute-newscast and The Lord’s Prayer. (Barbara Sellers, Hollywood Citizen-News)

Frees’ cartoons in 1953, according to Keith Scott in his book on Cartoon Voices, were all for MGM. It should be noted the voice tracks likely were recorded before 1953:

The Missing Mouse (Tom and Jerry, Jan. 10)
Barney’s Hungry Cousin (Barney Bear, Jan. 31)
Cobs and Robbers (Barney Bear, Mar. 14)
Heir Bear (Barney Bear, May 30)
TV of Tomorrow (Narrator for Tex Avery, June 6)
Wee-Willie Wildcat (Barney Bear, June 20)
Half-Pint Palomino (Barney Bear, Sept. 26)

His career at Disney had begun in 1950 but he did not voice anything for the studio again until 1954. The studio tapped him in 1961 to play Ludwig Von Drake. Frees pulled out a Germanic accent he employed during his career, but it was never funnier than when he played the cartoon professor, sometimes opposite Walt Disney himself.

He didn’t start his career at Walter Lantz until 1959, the same year he brought life at Jay Ward Productions to Boris Badenov. And Tomsk Parkoff.

You Know How These Gags Will End

Literal gags found their way into all kinds of Tex Avery cartoons. Eventually, it got to the point where he’d top the gag with a sign or some kind of commentary on the gag.

In Screwball Football, he treats them as is. Football announcer Reid Kilpatrick tells us Slobbovitz gets the ball and fades back for a long pass. “He’s fading. Fading. Fading.” He does.



There's a touchdown. Kilpatrick: “The cheerleader is yelling his head off.” He does.



I think my favourite literal pun is when Blottovich “recovers the pigskin” and the football escapes from his arms, squealing like a pig.

These are all pretty hokey, but I suspect they went off okay in 1939. Too bad the football didn't turn into a real pig, stop and turn to the camera and say, "This is silly," then continue on its run.

Avery does switches on a few of these gags in other cartoons, like the multiple horns (Car of Tomorrow, 1951, though I’ve seen it in a Columbia cartoon, too), and the stop-to-listen-to-the-radio one (Thugs With Dirty Mugs, 1939).

The running gag is great. There’s a murder, just like in Avery’s Batty Baseball at MGM.

The rotating animation credit goes to Virgil Ross.

Carl Stalling loads the soundtrack with that college favourite, “Frat.” We hear J.S. Zamecnik’s “College Stunts” and a bunch of old favourites, including public domainers “I’ve Been Working on the Railroad” and “She’ll be Comin’ ‘Round the Mountain,” “The William Tell Overture,” and “Rock-a-Bye Baby” for the running gag.

More Rainbow Parades

Over at the Cartoon Research website is the very pleasant news that Thunderbean Animation is ready to start sending out copies of its The Rainbow Parades, Volume 2 Blu-ray collection.

It’ll be a treat to see these in a form other than faded copies of public domain DVDs.

I doubt restoration will make me like any of these cartoons, but the Thunderbeaners have done an excellent job. The animation is very good in Felix the Cat Meets Old King Cole, especially the effects. Here are some frames from Felix the Cat Meets Bold King Cole (1936). Felix is riding a tree branch in a thunderstorm. There’s a zap, the branch gets away from him and Felix is riding a lightning bolt.



I’ll take the silent Felix, thanks. He was a rounded character, ingenious one minute and scheming the next. Van Beuren’s version could easily be played by Mickey Mouse. Molly Moo-Cow could be played by Pluto (now with her blackface scene fully restored), while Parrotville is a place where you wait and wait and wait for something to happen.

RKO thought so little of these shorts that it decided it didn’t need cartoons from a studio it had part interest in and released real Mickey Mouse and Pluto cartoons instead. Van Beuren got out of the cartoon business but still released travelogues for another year.

However, praise should again go to Thunderbean for the hard effort on behalf of those of you who want an improved look at these Technicolor shorts. And, like any good release, there are interesting extras on the disc.

The Perils of Ken Carpenter

Ken Carpenter had two long-time associations in radio. One was with Bing Crosby, apparently starting when Bing hosted the Kraft Music Hall on NBC in January 1936, and continuing through various shows and networks, carrying on into the early 1960s in a recorded show with Bing and Rosemary Clooney playing records in between heavily-scripted banter.

The other was with Kraft itself. He continued on the Music Hall after Bing left, and other programmes sponsored by the cheese company, including The Great Gildersleeve and a TV show with Milton Berle. He announced regularly on other shows, among them Command Performance, the Edgar Bergan/Charlie McCarthy show for Chase and Sanborn, the Life of Riley and, in the 1950s, The Halls of Ivy and Lux Radio Theatre, just to name a few. And there had been the Packard Show with Fred Astaire and Jimmy Fidler's on-air gossip column for Tangee and Grace Moore's programme for Vick's, all in 1936, and replacing Don Wilson in all of them. Carpenter was, more or less, Wilson’s protégé.

The June 28, 1930 edition of Inside Facts of Stage and Screen announced:

NEW ANNOUNCER
Kenneth Carpenter has been added to the announcing staff of KFI-KECA here. The new announcer at the Anthony stations is married and is 29 years old.

Carpenter was assigned on Oct. 21, 1930 to The Violet Ray Music Box, airing 8 to 8:30 on Tuesday nights on KFI for General Petroleum. The same publication gave the opinion over two issues:

Tinkling music box melodies faded in, Kenneth Carpenter orating two minute plug for gasoline and oil. This boy has a voice that should sell anything.

Again, let us mention the announcer, Kenneth Carpenter. The lad is good, with a friendly, pleasant voice, well modulated and using the proper inflection. This is very rare amongst the fraternity of announcers!

Carpenter had been hired at KFI by Wilson. They both ended up announcing football on NBC’s West Coast network. The Oakland Post-Enquirer of Sept. 23, 1931 squibbed:

The St. Mary’s-U. S. C. game will be handled over KGO by Don Wilson, who made such a hash of the Pageant of Jewels, and Ken Carpenter.

Carpenter's first Rose Bowl was 1934, sharing play-by-play with Don Thompson. Before then, Wilson had been hired by NBC to do sports back east. Of course, he ended up with a 30-plus year career with Jack Benny. In fact, an uncredited Carpenter opened the Benny show on March 23, 1937, as the plot had Wilson in Chicago, so an announcer was needed to throw to the midwest city.


Radio Mirror, in its September 1938 issue, contained a nice profile of Carpenter. We won’t reprint the full article, but will cut out a chunk of career highlights for you, along with the story of Carpenter and the NBC chimes on the hour-long Kraft Music Hall. His ad-lib was a stroke of genius. Radio writers speculated for weeks whether Carpenter would sound them at the half-hour station break.

[Carpenter] might still be knocking on office doors in search of employment — though I seriously doubt it — if his quest hadn't led him to KFI, then an independent radio station in Los Angeles. Since the only qualification he could advance for a radio job was a checkered business past embracing life insurance peddling, iron foundry puddling, commercial photography and the Chicago department store stint, Kenneth Carpenter spent most of his time waiting in the reception room at KFI. He was so tired hotfooting it along the pavement, he just decided to sit and wait. He did that for three weeks at KFI. Then, says Ken, "Finally Don Wilson had to hire me to get rid of me!"
DON, who "sells the stuff" for Jack Benny these days, was chief announcer at the old KFI. Ken doesn't recommend the sit-down system for ambitious young would-be announcers, though. He realizes that Don might have just given him the bum's rush or called a cop.
KFI put him to work broadcasting sports for the Coast networks. He airported track meets, crew races, baseball games and football. He got to be a crack spieler on gridiron goings-on and graduated to the top gridiron event in the nation — the Rose Bowl Game. Ken has four Rose Bowl games under his announcing belt by now, but his first Bowl job lingers longest and most painfully in his memory, which is only natural considering what befell.
It was along in the middle of the third quarter when the stands were on their feet yelling themselves hoarse. One team was about to score close to the sidelines, and the quarterback probably thought Ken Carpenter looked like a weak left end. At any rate, he called the play and several tons of tackles, guards and assorted backs charged down on Ken and his mike. When he woke up, there were cleat marks all over his fair white body and a lot of "dead air" on his particular broadcast. His reputation as well as one of his knees was pretty badly twisted.
It has been like that, it seems, all along with Ken Carpenter. Things pick on him to happen. That's why he timidly asserts today that he has come up the hard way.
There was the time he set up his traveling mike in a downtown jam to report an Elks Parade. As the colors went by the patriotic fervor of the crowd shoved Ken up against a plate glass window and then shot him through into a snappy department store display. The only indications the station had that Ken was on the job were loud crashes of falling glass and some muffled yowls.
He covered a championship baseball series, and a hasty batter slung his bat aside after a hit. Who do you think stopped it with his solar plexus and an "oof!" over the air? That's right — Carpenter. He put on a special air stunt from an orange grove and in the middle a tree decided to unload its fruit on Ken's uncovered top. Once, during a Navy Day review, Ken attempted to hop from one destroyer to another with his talk-box and misjudged the distance. He hung over the deep by a snag in his very best pants until the boys in blue rallied to the rescue.
"So," Ken declared, "you can readily see that the mere fact I am still hanging around and drawing a pay check is some sort of small miracle!"
Of course, Ken Carpenter does much more than just hang around the NBC studio in Hollywood. In fact, he is one of their very ace announcers and always as busy as a bookie on Derby Day. If you're a confirmed dial twister you'll hear his dulcet and persuasive tones over the Marion Talley Ry-Krisp hour on Sundays, as well as the Sunday One Man's Family show and the Wednesday one, too. He announces the Gilmore Circus (Pacific Coast Chain) on Fridays, still does very special events, makes recordings, and in his spare time he comes at you via the movies in Paramount's "Unusual Occupations" short subjects.
But Bing Crosby's battery of station-break bells on the Kraft Music Hall has really sounded out the Carpenter air click in a big way. That started as a rib, and like Topsy, "just growed," like this:
One day at rehearsals Chester Morris, the movie star guest that week, said the station gongs had always intrigued him. Who rang them, Chester wanted to know, what did they look like, how did they work?
"Why," replied Bing, shuffling his script sheets, "have you never heard of Kensington Carpenter — Carpenter the little Father of all the Chimes? Go ahead, Ken, ring 'em for the lad."
But Ken was busy penciling up his plugs and the chimes weren't handy. "Bing," he replied, "I'm just not in the mood!"
"What!" bellowed Bing, in mock severity, "This is a horrible contretemps, Carpenter, a deplorable contretemps!" 'Contretemps' is one of Bing's favorite words, and he rolls it out in a nasal snore more French than the French.
IT went on from there, with Bing exhorting Ken to give with his art and Ken feigning a temperamental indisposition— and all the time a secretary was taking the gag down in shorthand.
Now, it is practically a rule on the Kraft show that all spontaneous gags and impromptu by-play during rehearsals that get a laugh out of the company, go into the finished script. "Off the elbow" stuff, as radio people call it, makes a show sound relaxed — and that is just what Bing's Music Hall show wants above everything else.
Moreover, all guest stars on the Kraft hour are taken aside by the producer and urged to "throw curves" during the show at Bing and Bob — and now, of course, Carpenter — as much as possible. If the surprise "curves" are clever enough to get any one of the three at a loss for a snappy comeback — so much the better.
So that night Ken Carpenter's "temperament" about his station-break chime virtuosity went out on the air. The next Thursday, too, and the next and the next, until it had snowballed into a definite part of the show. Bing carried on his professorial severity and Ken kept up the callow, striving youth pose. They've tried to drop it several times, but somehow it seems to get better each week — and now they can't!
At any rate, whether he likes it or not, Kenneth Lee Carpenter now finds himself a radio comedian. The other day, Lenox B. Lohr, President of the National Broadcasting Company, sent him a set of chromium-plated chimes for his very own, as a sort of official recognition of the fact.
Now they've got him doing all sorts of things — even singing songs. "Which," mused Ken to me, "is a little strange, considering this fact: When I was in college my greatest ambition was to be a singer. It was a very small college and the glee club had fifty members. But my voice was so terrible they kicked me off the glee club the first day. And now I'm warbling from coast to coast! Amazing, this radio!"


Carpenter lost a TV job in 1955, but it wasn’t quite his fault. Among his duties on the Halls of Ivy television show was to warm up the audience. The San Francisco Call-Bulletin of Apr. 19 reported Carpenter was unable to get to the studios at Columbia Square, so a page boy and part-time copywriter named Fred Grimes told Colman he could do it. He did. Next thing, Grimes had the job full-time. (Carpenter told historian and radio man Chuck Schaden he didn’t really like doing it anyway).

As network radio petered out in the first few years of the 1960s, so did Carpenter’s career. Appearances were rare. He made one with Jack Benny, announcing Premiere At The Pavilion, a 1965 KTTV charity special where Benny played a concerto. And he continued his activities with AFTRA and Pacific Pioneer Broadcasters.

Carpenter joked about the situation to Jack Smalley of the Ventura County Star. In a column on June 16, 1969, Smalley wrote:

When asked Ken Carpenter what he was doing now.
“Our grandchildren can’t figure out what I do, either,” said Ken. “They don’t understand broadcasting work, and they wonder what sort of job I have.
“One day we bought a whole flat of boxed strawberries and stopped off at their house. Our grandson came to the door. He looked at the strawberries and a light dawned. “Now I know what you do, grandpa!” he yelled. “You sell strawberries.”

The days of selling Velveeta for Der Bingle had long ended.