Jokers Jack and George

Jack Benny and George Burns may have been the biggest best friends in the comedy world in Hollywood. Burns was famous for breaking up Benny, usually at the most inopportune moments. They played practical jokes on each other, too.

Here are some examples. These are two different unbylined stories, but they obviously came from the same source material as sentences are used verbatim. The first is from Rochester TV Life of March 8-14, 1952, the second from Radio TV Life of October 31, 1952.

Vaudeville Friends . . . Burns, Allen and Benny
Jack Benny and George Burns have been friends since their early days in vaudeville.
Back in those days they shared bachelor quarters and started pulling jokes on each other. They became benedicts at about the same time (George in 1926 and Jack in 1927), which only served to strengthen their friendship and make for a continued series of personalized, wacky practical jokes.
The night that George married Gracie Allen in Cleveland, Jack called up from Vancouver at 4 A.M, "Hello, this is Jack Benny," he announced. George said, "Bring up two orders of ham and eggs!" and hung up.
While George was playing the Palace in New York, Jack sent him this wire from San Diego: "I think your act is sensational. You've got the cleverest routine, the funniest gags Broadway has ever heard. I think you're a genius—better than Chaplin!" He signed it "George Burns."
After George and Gracie had made their radio debut, Jack addressed a fan letter to his pal: "I listened to your program last night and I think it was swell. I would appreciate it very much if you would send me a picture of Tom Mix's horse."
Forthwith, George found a photo of a jackass and inscribed it "To my very dear friend, Jack Benny." Jack acknowledged it with "Thank you for your picture."

On one occasion Jack wrote George a six-page letter. George, it seems, was too busy to answer, so he switched the names in the salutation and signature, and sent the letter back. Jack redoubled, and for a year and a half, that was the only letter that passed between them.
The most expensive and widely-heralded exchange of jokes between the two funsters came this wise:
On the opening night of Benny's engagement at the London Palladium in 1948, George put in a long distance call for him from his Beverly Hills, Calif., home. When the connection was made, George said, "Hello, Jack. This is George Burns," then abruptly hung up.
Jack got reprisal in full measure on the opening night for George and Gracie, the following year, at the Palladium. He flew all the way from Hollywood, and made his way to the apartment of Val Parnell, manager of the Palladium, where a party was in progress in honor of Burns and Allen.
Before he arrived, he picked up Jane Wyman (then making a movie in London) and asked her to be his stooge in the finale to this running gag. Unbeknownst to George or Gracie, they hid in a room adjoining the party in progress.
Jane played like a veddy British telephone operator, and pretended to be putting through a call to George from Hollywood. "Mr. Burns, Mr. Burns," she said, "Hollywood calling, Mr. Burns. Righto, it's Mr. Benny. I'll put him on the wire now."
George, in the other room, exclaimed to the guests, "That Jack!" Jack then said, "Hello, George," and hung up.
"He hung up on me!" George said rather plaintively. And he had hardly finished the sentence when Jack walked into the room.
George was so overwrought he cried.
Following a gruelling tour of the battlefronts of Korea to entertain the troops in 1951. Benny returned to Hollywood to resume his radio and television activities. George had not seen Jack since his return, but he was not at a loss for a gag when Benny casually sauntered backstage at rehearsal for the Burns and Allen TV show.
"Why, hello, Jack," he said casually, "when are you leaving for Korea?"
Jack did what he usually does when George pulls a "fasty."
He doubled up with laughter, and hung onto George's knees before he straightened up.
He thinks George is the funniest man on earth. The feeling is mutual.
Back in the '40s, Burns and Allen contemplated a change in format before starting a new series of their radio show. Benny voluntarily attended many of the preliminary meetings in the office of the advertising agency. He offered some good advice. It was taken, and the new Burns and Allen show got off to a flying start.
George and Jack are pals who know how to talk—and listen.

Show Business’s Oldest Feud
The Battle of Wits That Entertains the Participants, Their Friends and Foes Has Raged for a Quarter of a Century
THE CURTAIN had hardly hit the floor at the close of a George Burns and Gracie Allen Show when the phone started ringing backstage in Studio A of the CBS headquarters in Hollywood.
An attendant answered, and a familiar voice asked for George. It was Jack Benny, calling from Detroit.
George scurried to the phone while the applause of the studio audience still rang in his ears. "Hi, Jay," he said. "What's Up?"
Benny came back with, "Oh, I was just sitting around with a bunch of newspaper guys here in Detroit, telling a lot of lies. But this is no lie. Your show, which we just saw, was a real smash. Really great."
"Well, Jay, Gracie and I felt it came off pretty well, but we could always do better."
The Gag
After some more persiflage, George asked Jack why he was stopping in Detroit, and the latter, reputedly a pinchpenny and Maxwell driver, replied laconically that he had just bought a new Cadillac. Also that he was driving back to Hollywood with Frankie Remley, the guitarist, as a traveling companion.
"Well, Jay," George said, "I beat you to the punch. I bought one last week here in Hollywood, and I've already got fifty-two miles on it!"
Moaned Benny, "Now I'm glad I got these charges reversed to you at CBS!"
Started Long Ago

Jack Benny and George Burns, two of today's greatest comics, have been friends since their early days in vaudeville. Back in those days they shared bachelors quarters and started pulling jokes on each other. They never stopped.
The night that George married Gracie Allen in Cleveland, Benny called up from Vancouver. He waited until 4:00 in the morning to call. "Hello, this is Jack Benny," he announced. George barked, "Bring up two orders of ham and eggs!" and hung up.
Later, when George and Gracie made their radio debut, Jack addressed a fan letter to his pal: "I listened to your program last night and I think it was swell. I would appreciate it very much if you would send me a picture of Tom Mix's horse."
George immediately found a photo of a jackass and wrote across it, "To my very dear friend, Jack Benny." Jack acknowledged it with, "Thank you for your picture."
The most expensive and widely heralded exchange of jokes started on the opening night of Benny's engagement at the London Palladium in 1948. George put in a long-distance call for him from his Beverly Hills, California, home. When the connection was made, George said, "Hello, Jack. This is George Burns." Then abruptly hung up.
Paid Back
Jack got even in full a year later when George and Gracie opened at the Palladium. He flew all the way from Hollywood, and made his way to an apartment where a party was in progress in honor of Burns and Allen. Before he arrived, however, he picked up Jane Wyman (then making a movie in London) and asked her to stooge for his stunt. She would—and did. Unbeknown to George and Gracie, they hid in a room next to the party apartment.
Then Jane played a veddy, veddy British phone operator and pretended to put through a call to George, from Hollywood. "Mr. Burns, Mr. Burns," she said, "Hollywood calling, Mr. Burns. Righto, it's Mr. Benny. I'll put him on."
George, in the other room, exclaimed happily to the guests, "That's Jack!" Just then Jack said, "Hello, George." And hung up.
"He hung up on me!" George said plaintively. And he had hardly finished the sentence when Jack walked into the room.
George was so overwrought he cried.