More of The One, The Only...

It’s time for more of the wit and wisdom of Groucho Marx.

He apparently didn’t have much left of either when he died in 1977. But here he is two years before his demise cracking wise. This column appeared in newspapers on October 1, 1975.

Groucho birthdaying? You can bet your life
By BOB THOMAS
LOS ANGELES (AP) — “Did you know that I’ll be 85 years old on Oct. 2? Isn’t that amazing?”
Of course, Groucho. And it’s cause for celebration that Groucho Marx is alive and fairly well and living in accustomed luxury in the Trousdale Estates.
The birthday will be observed Oct. 12 with a star-filled luncheon in his honor by the Friends of the Library at the University of Southern California.
“I’ve written six books, and I never finished public school,” he comments wonderingly. Curiously, his immense contributions to American humor have never been rewarded with an honorary degree from any university. Bob Hope has 31.
A visit to Groucho is always a delight, and he was in good form at a pre-birthday lunch at his home.
In some ways he exhibits his ample years. No more the loping walk. His steps are deliberate, his frame stooped. The words don’t come with the same rattling speed — nor as scathingly.
But he is still Groucho.
“I no longer smoke, drink or make love,” he remarked, expletive deleted. “I gave up cigars five years ago, figuring that I was too old to smoke.

“Not drinking hasn’t bothered me; I was only a one-drink man anyway. As far as making love, age took care of that.”
He sat down to a hearty lunch accompanied by apple cider (“I read in the New York Times that it was good for old people”).
As he sliced the chicken breast, he mused, “My mother was a lousy cook. My father was a great cook. But he was a lousy tailor.”
Groucho had a coughing spell, and the ever-present Erin Fleming asked if he had taken his cough medicine. Twice, he replied. Miss Fleming, an attractive brunett with a sharp mind, has been guardian of the Marx legend for several years. She watches his health, makes deals for books, merchandize licensing, TV reruns, etc., collecting a 15 per cent fee as manager.
Her only complaint is that she would like to get married, and Groucho keeps scaring off her potential suitors.
“My quiz show went on Channel 5 here as a 13-week experiment, and now it’s the most popular program on an independent station,” Groucho remarked proudly. Indeed, rerelease of the 1951-1961 “You Bet Your Life” series has caused a new wave of Grouchomania. Even though the films are in black-and-white, the Marxian dialogue retains its color, and “You Bet Your Life” is now appearing on 44 channels, including the top 18 markets.
Groucho himself has been watching the reruns every night and the afternoon showings as well. He claims to remember each of the shows, and he comments on how he could have improved his performance.
He goes to sleep when the shows are over at 11:30 and rises promptly at 6. After bathing and shaving, he returns to bed for breakfast and reading the news; he still follows politics avidly and admires California’s young Gov. Brown — “I think he’ll be president some day. ”
Groucho spends a busy morning with mail and other matters, takes a walk before lunch.
Nowadays he rarely joins the fabled comedians’ roundtable at Hillcrest Country Club, the ranks of comedians having grown thinner. He lunches at home at 1 p.m. sharp, watches reruns of his show and Jack Benny's (“A fine man, and a great comedian”).
After a late-day rest, Groucho dines with friends or goes to a movie. He enjoys the films of Mel Brooks and Woody Allen, both of whom he considers “brilliant.”
Refusing to live in the past, Groucho spends time with such admirers as Bill Cosby, Marvin Hamlisch, Jack Nicholson and Bud Cort (“Harold and Maude”), the latter a current houseguest. But there is no mistaking Groucho’s sense of loss as he walks down a hallway-gallery and points to photos of Al Jolson, Jack Benny, Edward G. Robinson, Harry Ruby, and especially his late brother Harpo, “a wonderful man.”
Groucho talked of meeting another old friend, Charlie Chaplin, when Chaplin was here for his honorary Oscar last year. “You know the advice he gave me? He said, 'Keep cool,’” said Groucho.
“No, he said, 'Keep warm,’” Erin corrected.
“So what’s the difference?”