Naps and Trains and Jack Benny

Train stations were the bane of Jack Benny’s existence, at least on the radio. He ran into abusive ticket sellers, blubbering cab drivers, announcers calling for passengers on trains on track five that no one wanted to ride and, occasionally, a tout giving him a tip on a magazine or a candy bar. In real life, Jack liked trains, and not just because of all the comedy inspiration they gave his writers.

Here’s a short newspaper story, from an unidentified syndicate, dated February 18, 1969. In a way, it’s sad. Jack talks about regular medical check-ups. Despite that, doctors didn’t detect his cancer until it was too late.

At 74, Jack Benny Is a Master At Using 'Visual Vocabulary'
By FRANK LANGLEY
NEW YORK—“Why don’t you go inside and take a nap,” the young man said with the paternal air of a doting father. He was answered with a glare of utter disdain, perhaps the most famous facial expression in America.
When Jack Benny glares at you, he is using a visual vocabulary that may be saying, “You must be out of your mind.” Or, “Isn’t that the most ridiculous thing you ever heard?”
In this case, the glare he gave his young agent seemed to say, “Who do you think you’re talking to, a seven-year-old?”
The agent was well aware that he was talking in seven year-old terms to a 74 year-old man. He also knew that despite the glare, his client would retire for a short nap, in the manner of a seven-year-old.
If you watched Jack Benny on his Birthday Special last night you, like everyone else in the audience could easily be convinced that 60 would be a closer age approximation for Jack. It’s no trick of make up.
Jack has a fine baby-like skin that is almost free of lines. His eyes, like his brain, are alert.
Jack keeps a vigorous schedule that he is able to maintain by both taking good care of himself and taking good advice.
“I’m on a very busy schedule right now,” he said. The comedian was in New York for a hectic three days of interviews, business meetings and theater parties. “But I’m well rested and I feel fine. Want to know how I rested myself? I took the train from California instead of flying.
“Of course, not everyone can take a train. Imagine Bob Hope, for instance. The only thing that could get him on a train would be if there were 800 soldiers on board. He'd do a show from coast-to-coast.”
Jack paused, his gaze drifting to the ceiling for a moment. “You know,” he said, “I was just thinking about Bob and our health and how some of us can take care of ourselves and some of us just have to keep going and going. Bob takes good care of himself when he can, but he moves around so much that that has been seldom.
“I talked to him a few days ago and I told him he is crazy if he goes right back to work after having so much trouble with his eyes. Who needs it? Why kill himself?”
The world’s oldest, or perhaps youngest, seven-year-old then leaped forward, crooked a famous finger, palm up, and said, “Anyone can live to a ripe and happy old age if he just gets regular examinations, takes care of and paces himself.”
Then he sat back and stared his famous stare of futile wonderment, saying, “Isn’t it stupid, that so few of us do?”